We ask ourselves this question every time we go out. Why is that girl with such a douche bag? It’s like the setting of the sun; it’s a fact of life. Then you ask yourself, should I still go talk to her? Let’s dive in…why is that good looking girl really out with such a loser?
After almost 26 years trying to figure this one out, I finally figured out that it’s a game of simple economics. The game played between the girl and her loser guy friend is no more than a simple risk-reward play (bare with me).
Let’s start with the guy. The guy, at his weak little core, knows his place in the world, but is okay with it because guys tend to accept more risk than girls when going out. The guy will work his way into the girl’s circle, and try to be a friend first who apparently doesn’t want to hook up with her. To give credit where credit is due, this is not by mistake. He knows that the girl will not go home alone after a night out, at any expense, because in her mind that means she’s not as attractive and/or interesting as the other girls she was around. His play is to be at the right place at the right time, and be the first in line if she can’t hook a better guy while out on the town. It’s a risky play, being at the girl’s beck and call all night long, buying drinks and disguising his end goal by talking to her less attractive friends all night. But, if she strikes out and decides to settle for the “friend” as a last resort, the guy is greatly rewarded with a quick hook up with a girl who would otherwise be out of his league and have no interest in him. High risk, but high reward.
Now the girl. Girls are insecure by nature, especially when going out. Competition between girls is like watching gladiators, because they are trying so hard to be the most attractive, desirable girl around. Therefore, the girl is risk-averse and goes for the safe play. She starts the night with a douche bag, and knows he is a douche bag, because she knows that at the very least he’ll go home with her at the end of the night. In other words, she starts low, with very little risk, and hopes to upgrade while out. While she’s out, she stays close, but not too close, to her guy friend and less attractive girl friends. She is not stupid though, and keeps her eye out for more attractive guys, and gives “the eye” to any potential guy she thinks would be an upgrade from the douche bag. If she snags one, and is interesting enough to keep him around until the end of the night, she goes home with a better guy. If she airballs, she still goes home with a warm body no matter what, because the douche bag that was waiting in toe all night is like a sad little puppy and follows her no matter what. Therefore, her risk is low, and the reward (if you want to call it that), is that she never has to go home alone and take a huge blow to her ego.
Finally, because we’ve dissected this crazy anomaly and finally figured out what’s really going on, we offer this. If you see a girl you’re attracted to, but you notice the douche bag in the background, go talk to the girl anyway, because the girl secretly (not a secret anymore), desperately wants to upgrade.
Offer your thoughts. Why do YOU think that with every good looking girl, there is inevitably a douche bag close by? And given this, do you still go talk to her?
