Is Brandon Weeden living the definition of the dream?

Now as hard as it is for me to recognize a player at another Big-12 school (I went to CU for undergrad and Texas for Grad school), I have decided that the quarterback for the Oklahoma State Cowboys is one of the finest examples of living the dream in America.

For those of you who don't know who Brandon Weeden is, he is the red-headed step-child pictured below:
Looking at what he was able to accomplish as a first year starter, it's incredible. Here's his stats for 2010:
QB Rating: 154.1
Yards: 4,277
TDs: 34
Ints: 13

While not jaw-dropping, it's pretty impressive for a first year starter.

Now let's cover why this is more impressive: First the guy is 27 years old.....and he's a Junior in college. How did this happen? Well he played minor league baseball for 6 years after high school. Drafted by the Yankees as a pitcher in the 2nd Round (Their first pick of the '02 Draft) he received 3 year, $565,000 contract. After playing for the Yankees and Dodgers in their farm leagues for 3 years he suffered an arm injury. While this would have been it for most of us, Brandon decided to enroll at OSU and play football. After riding the bench for 2 years he started as a junior and dominated in the Big 12. He was rated as a high draft pick before deciding to return for his Senior year.

So why besides the fact that Brandon made more money when he was 18 then I have probably made in my entire life so far do I say that Weeden is living the dream? Well it's the reason behind his 4th year at Okie State. Brandon has decided to walk onto the OSU golf team (one of the top teams in the nation). He is also married to a woman who I would rate at a 12 on a scale of 10. So basically he will be spending his off season getting paid to play golf all over the United States and hiding out on the links to avoid his superhot wife.....not a bad life huh? Then next fall he'll lead the Cowboys on the gridiron with his top receiver (Justin Blackmon) returning as well. Barring any major injuries he will find himself drafted in the first 3 rounds or so next year, just in time to sign a contract and be a backup QB (the best job in the NFL) for some team before he hits 30. Oh and lets not forget that he is a 27 year old starting QB on a campus of gorgeous 18-22 year old women, not a bad place or position to be in. After playing a few years and making a few million he can retire and return to golf, and according to teammates at OSU he is going to significantly improve their team. This improvement coming from a guy who has spent the last 9 years playing professional and amateur sports which weren't golf. So needless to say we may see Brandon teeing off with Tiger in 10 years.

I don't know about you but I can't think of anyone else who is living the dream more than Brandon Weeden. Can you?

Top 10 Driving Pet Peeves

1.  People who ignore merge signs and try to cut in front of you, and get pissed if you don't let them in
2.  People who slam on their brakes and turn without using a blinker.  Also, people who leave their blinker on after switching lanes
3.  People who speed up and slow down erratically depending on whether they're going up or down hills (if you've never noticed this one, try putting your car on cruise control on the highway and see how many times you play leapfrog with other cars)
4.  People who wait 10 seconds to press the gas when a light turns green...GREEN MEANS GO
5.  People who turn into the median between double yellow lines and tease you, making you wonder if they're going to cut in front of you and force you to slam on your brakes or not
6.  People who change lanes right in front of you and kick up rocks that crack your windshield
7.  People who are too busy talking on their cell phone to realize that they're on the road with other people
8.  People who refuse to leave the left lane...often these people are going 15 mph UNDER the speed limit
9.  Waiting at red lights/arrows when there is nobody else around
10.  Last but not least (probably the worst) is Parking Enforcement.  Why do we pay someone (via taxes) to write us tickets for parking on streets that we pay for (via taxes)?!

I'm sure there's more, let's hear them.

What Is It With Coffee Shops?

I just don't get it.  Walking into a coffee shop (we all know which one I'm talking about, but I don't know the rules about referring to specific people/places on the internet) to get my girlfriend a coffee was hilarious the other day.  It was a Saturday morning in Boulder, a beautiful day to go on a hike or watch football.  But no, to other people it was a perfect day to go "be seen" at said coffee shop. 

I mean, really?  What do you actually get done at the coffee shop that you can't get done at the library or YOUR HOME.  Do you really have that little self control that you can't get work done at home?  We all know you're not really working on a Saturday morning anyway, unless updating your facebook or twitter is considered work.  When we go anywhere other than home or the office, and infer that we're "working," it's false.  All we end up doing is watching people, judging them, wondering what their story is, rating girls on a scale of 1 to 10, referring to them in code as if they were recruits for college football.  If you actually go to a coffee shop to get work done, and you ACTUALLY get work done, let us know your secret.  What is it really all about? 

The Back Tattoo Conundrum

Let me first preface this post with a disclaimer, I am not a fan of the back tattoo. In general I'm not a fan of tattoos (visible ones at least) on girls. However an experience recently shook the foundation of my previous conceptions on the subject.

Usually I'm not one to go out to the bars on a Monday night, but a friend had a guest from out of town so I made an exception. We had a crew of 4 and headed to a local restaurant for some grub before heading downtown. Over food and 2 Mexican martinis each we came upon the discussion of the back tattoo. A friend at the table had received a text message from a girl who he was planning on going out with the following week, the text consisted of a picture of her back with a fresh (red) tattoo on it along with the caption "Ouch" at the end. The tattoo was of a giant shell, similar to the "Conch" in Lord of the Flies. It expanded from the middle of each shoulder blade in width and probably 6-8 inches in height. This immediately resulted in endless jokes and a consensus among the group that this should be a "one and done" date. After finishing cocktails we headed downtown to see what Monday night held in store.

After bar hopping for an hour or so we came upon a "Cowboy Bar", not uncommon in Texas, but this one included a mechanical bull (much to the delight of the non-local of the group). After having a few cocktails and admittedly being slightly intoxicated for a Monday night, I noticed a girl come in wearing a strapless white "bustier" and jeans. She was about 5'2" and blond, very attractive, and I was immediately (obviously) locked-in. Jokingly I turned to a member of my group who was busy "winging" the other 2 members of the group and said, "I'm gonna hook up with that chick". This was my intoxicated method of drawing his attention to the new patron of the bar. After a few laughs and some additional time spent drinking, I noticed the blond subject of my attraction had made her way to my side of the bar, in tow she had a douchey dude with her (see December 30th's post), I couldn't resist and exchanged a few pleasantries with her. Seeing that the douche had staked his claim I didn't over-pursue, after a minute or two she turned to the bar at which point I noticed.....you guessed it....a back tattoo. Now I'm going to pause and refrain from telling you what the tattoo was to ask a question. Given the fact that you were attracted to her before seeing the tattoo does it's existence change the way you think of this girl at the bar? Does it imply she's a "freak" or does it lower her attractiveness?

Now comes the quandary....the tattoo sported by this young vixen (with no other tattoos visible) was simple/clean black cursive, with letters about an inch and a half in height, and the writing said "I Walk The Line". This threw me for a loop, I was not expecting a Johnny Cash shout-out on this blond's back. Does the fact that it was Cash make her more attractive? Would it have been better if it was a less "popular" song by Cash? Or does the simple fact remain that it is a back tattoo and the content doesn't affect her attractiveness?

I'm interested to hear any back tattoo experiences or thoughts on the subject. What do you think?

The Economics of the Douchebag Boyfriend

We ask ourselves this question every time we go out.  Why is that girl with such a douche bag?  It’s like the setting of the sun; it’s a fact of life.  Then you ask yourself, should I still go talk to her?  Let’s dive in…why is that good looking girl really out with such a loser? 

After almost 26 years trying to figure this one out, I finally figured out that it’s a game of simple economics.  The game played between the girl and her loser guy friend is no more than a simple risk-reward play (bare with me). 

Let’s start with the guy.  The guy, at his weak little core, knows his place in the world, but is okay with it because guys tend to accept more risk than girls when going out.  The guy will work his way into the girl’s circle, and try to be a friend first who apparently doesn’t want to hook up with her.  To give credit where credit is due, this is not by mistake.   He knows that the girl will not go home alone after a night out, at any expense, because in her mind that means she’s not as attractive and/or interesting as the other girls she was around.  His play is to be at the right place at the right time, and be the first in line if she can’t hook a better guy while out on the town.  It’s a risky play, being at the girl’s beck and call all night long, buying drinks and disguising his end goal by talking to her less attractive friends all night.  But, if she strikes out and decides to settle for the “friend” as a last resort, the guy is greatly rewarded with a quick hook up with a girl who would otherwise be out of his league and have no interest in him.  High risk, but high reward.

Now the girl.  Girls are insecure by nature, especially when going out.  Competition between girls is like watching gladiators, because they are trying so hard to be the most attractive, desirable girl around.  Therefore, the girl is risk-averse and goes for the safe play.  She starts the night with a douche bag, and knows he is a douche bag, because she knows that at the very least he’ll go home with her at the end of the night.  In other words, she starts low, with very little risk, and hopes to upgrade while out.  While she’s out, she stays close, but not too close, to her guy friend and less attractive girl friends.  She is not stupid though, and keeps her eye out for more attractive guys, and gives “the eye” to any potential guy she thinks would be an upgrade from the douche bag.  If she snags one, and is interesting enough to keep him around until the end of the night, she goes home with a better guy.  If she airballs, she still goes home with a warm body no matter what, because the douche bag that was waiting in toe all night is like a sad little puppy and follows her no matter what.  Therefore, her risk is low, and the reward (if you want to call it that), is that she never has to go home alone and take a huge blow to her ego. 

Finally, because we’ve dissected this crazy anomaly and finally figured out what’s really going on, we offer this.  If you see a girl you’re attracted to, but you notice the douche bag in the background, go talk to the girl anyway, because the girl secretly (not a secret anymore), desperately wants to upgrade.

Offer your thoughts.  Why do YOU think that with every good looking girl, there is inevitably a douche bag close by?  And given this, do you still go talk to her?